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  • Writer's picturevictoriaellenmack

My Secret Obsession: Ketamine Therapy

Updated: Nov 19, 2022

Hallucinogenics are going mainstream, and I'm fascinated.

UPDATE: I have gone ahead and scheduled my first session with I'll write a new post once I've done the program!

Okay, so full disclosure, I am absolutely no fun. I mean I'm funny; I can enjoy myself. But when I think back to my salad days as an NYC party girl, bar-hopping in skinny jeans and heels? Man, compared to that chick, I am no damn fun. I don’t drink (allergic, thanks to histamine intolerance); I don’t smoke pot (paranoia, thanks to OCD); I don’t do any other drugs (if I can’t handle pot, why would I try anything else?). Hell, I don’t even eat sugar. Letting my hair down means making sugar-free hot chocolate and binging Love Island instead of something educational, like Rupaul’s Drag Race. So hard drugs are really not my thing.

Or are they?

Except for—possibly, maybe—ketamine infusions.

I am obsessed with trying this treatment. Ketamine is now FDA approved to treat depression, anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and even physical pain. It’s become pretty mainstream, and even my fancy-shmancy famous EDS specialist told me she’s a big fan. Here’s an article from the National Library of Medicine, which found that:

“There was a significant improvement in depression, anxiety, and the severity of illness after 2 weeks and 1 month of the last dose of ketamine.” (Full article here.)

You can find infusion clinics in 32 states, according to I was shocked to find that my own pretty conservative state of Georgia, which has not even legalized marijuana yet (come ON, guys), has ketamine clinics galore. There are even a couple of mail order companies, like or, that will send you ketamine through their “oral program” (sounds sexy!) so you can do it in the comfort of your own home.

I’ve long been fascinated by the possibilities of psychedelics as a mental health treatment. I still remember an article I read 10 years ago about the use of LSD to help terminal patients. One man with cancer was able to embrace his own mortality after enrolling in the experimental program. His experience with LSD showed him that he was connected to the earth and to nature.. He no longer felt caught up in the trance of ego, and he understood that death is part of life. (You can read the full article here.)

The trance of ego

I, for one, am very much caught up in the trance of ego, and pretty freaked about the prospect of having a progressive illness that will slowly make life more and more difficult–not to mention death itself. Trying ketamine therapy could, ideally, allow me to release my resistance towards having an illness. What if I could understand that bodies aren’t necessarily supposed to be healthy all the time? That variety is an essential part of nature? That just because something is painful and upsetting, it’s not necessarily wrong?

I’m not talking about giving up and flushing my meds down the toilet. I’m also not talking about being happy about being sick. I’m talking about giving up the emotional fight. I am exhausted, personally, by how badly I want to be healthy. What if I could give up wanting that and accept that suffering is part of life, and certainly part of my life?

The truth is, when I rail against how unfair it is to be sick, I’m fighting what’s real. I’m shouting into the wind. Life isn’t fair. Bodies aren’t always perfect. Some people are sick. That’s natural too. And that’s the mindset that I would hope to get from ketamine.

So if it's mainstream now, and I have such high hopes, why don't I just do it?

Because it’s expensive as hell! Insurance won’t cover it. You’re supposed to do multiple infusions, and they’re several hundreds of dollars each. You can find the price per infusion for some clinics at, but this is not an exhaustive list of clinics. One of the at-home companies,, says their first consultation is free, and packages start at $167 per session, but who knows what that really adds up to. The other, Nue Life, is more transparent: the initial 6-session program costs $1399. All I know is, it’s way out of what my household can afford at the moment.

If you’re interested in reading more, this is the article that got me hooked on the idea of ketamine.

If you've tried ketamine, share your experience!


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